Muse wars
by Wigwam Radish Aardvark n' Co
Summary: The storys of what our muses get up to when they are not inspiring us. Very cool. The first 1 isnt though, so do read more...
1. Muse wars 1

Ok hi guys. This story is really not gonna make much sense to people, but anyway. I will just have to do a bit of explaining. Firstly, I wrote this with my best friends Radish and Aardvark. We have other stories under Wigwam, Radish aardvark + co, but that one is much more understandable. See its confusing already. Well, me and my friends have some, well a lot of muses, and to make sure that they are not bored have given them some adventures. Some characters will not appear till later episodes, but I will write a profile of them all anyway. The vegetarian thing is an argument in the story between aardvark and me. Radish and me are veggies. A/N, Baldrick and Cunning are SOMEONE'S false muses, as she could not wait for her true muse to come to her. This means that her true muse only comes in much later. Also, all, or almost all of the muses are jedis. BTW:

Muse: damn, can't find a dictionary. Well, something that inspires you. 

Muse profiles:

Bob the other dog (mine!) A really cute little black dog that does karate, judo and yoga, and has recently taken up tae kwon do. 

Obi Wan Kenobi (aardvark) well, you know who and what he is. He is also a vegetarian. 

Obi: NO I'M NOT!

Borris (Radish) a fly. That's a bout it. Oh yeah, he has a mini lightsabre 

Marvin the magic carpet (all) well, that says it all.

Mrs Leathery the hat (aardvark) Mrs leathery the hat sat there looking very leathery and very much like a hat.

Sydney the lisping serpent (all) a poisonous snake, oh, with a lisp.

Baldrick (radish, false muse) the guy from Blackadder, stupid

Cunning (radishes other false muse) a fox, and that is basically all of his character development. 

Rundil (aardvark) a broken elvish mongoose, incredibly cute.

Stitch and sue (aardvark) rundil's niece and nephew.

And you'll meet the evil guys and lasses as we go along. If they haven't run away. Now to the story. Ahem.

Muse Wars

(Cue star wars music)

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…well, actually a couple of days ago right her…the great muses were preparing for battle. Obi wan and Bob the other dog were great rivals, and the other muses; Mrs leathery, Marvin and Sydney watched in amazement. 

Obi wan stood, lightsabre held above his head, ready to fight. Bob was poised in a karate position, glaring at obi wan.

Before attacking they sent great insults across cyberspace...Obi said that he was not scared of Bob. Bob replied that he did not care, and said that he did Karate, judo and yoga. Bob insisted that obi was a vegetarian. Denouncing his whole nature, Obi insisted that he was not. 

It was against the nature of a jedi to argue like this, but he hated Bo. He would not usually care about petty details, but something about Bob was really starting to annoy him. And he was not a vegetarian. 

Bob was disgusted at the way Obi, a jedi, was behaving. He told him that he was not afraid of a boy with a stick. This showed that he was film literate, (a/n A Knights Tale, good film) and had an amazing sense of humour. Obi childishly replied that it was called a lightsabre, hellooooo. Bob retaliated with his one secret, the final and devastating truth. His last and best weapon against Obi. 

'lightsabres…..'He said 'don't affect me, as an other dog'

Obi was shocked into silence, and Marvin used the time to agree that Obi was a veggie.

Obi wan was defeated. He had no weapons left, and he knew that the force would not help him here. He finally recovered the use of his voice. He called for a truce between the muses.

Bob said woof. This is translated as ok, BUT IM STILL BETTER THAN YOU! 

Obi obviously did not agree. After a while, Bob admitted his other dark and terrible secret. Something that would stun Obi. He admitted that he was on the good side, and was only testing Obi's jedi powers. Obi, stunned, asked if he was fighting against the sith. Ignoring his owners obvious ignorance of the dark side, he replied that he was.

Obi was stunned. He was also rather relieved, he hadn't had to reveal that he was a vegetarian. 

Bob and obi went off in one of those flying thingys and defeated darth vader in 10 minutes, as they were such a good team together.

Later, Bob the other dog his final dark and amazing secret. It was a tense moment.

''I' he said 'am you're father! D'oh , wrong line!' he exclaimed. 'what I meant to say is that as well as doing karate, judo and yoga, I am a jedi'

Obi took this with a shrug. He had learnt to expect strange things from Bob. Them Mrs leathery, Marvin and Sydney applauded the happy ending. Mrs leathery jumped up onto obi's head, and they all flew off on Marvin the magic carpet. 

A last call remained in the darkness. 

'WOOF'

(This is translated as muses forever)

And a lone voice shouted out

'I am not a vegetarian!'

The end.

The other ones are much better, this is just a kind of warming up one. Also, here there is an excellent illustration of them all flying off on Marvin. I will get aardvark to make a website with pictures on, so you can go look at all the muses. If you can be bothered, that is. Bye for this episode!

Love Wigwam.


	2. Muse wars 2:Attack of the Arfs 1

Um, hi guys who can actually be bothered to read this load of ramdomness. This will be..the second chapter. And its bloody long, so I am gonna spend ages typing. It, however, is hysterically funny. Bob would like to say woof.

Disclaimer: Well, actually, we do own most of the stuff. Amazing huh!

Muse Wars 2

The Attack of the Arfs

The Battle of the muses was now over. However, the muses could not rest….Obi Wan had returned from his last mission with grave news. There was a new danger threatening the world. There was a new terror to, um, terrorise them. A dark and evil being that wanted to destroy them. Arf Vader.

This evil prescence was growing in the Northern worlds. Rumours were growing of the rebuilding of Mount Plume. This palnet had once been almost completely destroyed by the jedi long before the birth of the muses, and now it was being rebuilt a new alliance was needed, and Obi and Bob took the other muses to Coruscunt to be trained as jedi. Miraculously it only took the very clever and amazing muses 2 seconds to train.

The muses travelled for many days and had many noble adventures on the way to Mount Plume.

When they at last got there, they realised that they would have to go in disguise. They all donned their multicoloured cloaks and hoped they would fit in. They had to go to a secret meeting point to find out where Arf Vader's Headquaters were situated. 

Arfs were small insignificant creatures armed with hot tripods. These all wore multicoloured cloaks. Obi was annoyed, as he had to crouch as he walked along. The snake looked rather strange, but the Arf army did not notice, as they were busy eating chutney sandwiches and playing badminton. 

Meanwhile, Arf Vader sat playing noughts and crosses, a large, white, fluffy guinea pig on her lap. Her advisors entered, to warn her of the muse-jedis. She ignored them however. She set her guinea pig on them.They all shouted at the same time 'Death by dangerous…guinea pigs???' 

Arf Vader laughed.

I hereby decide that I am going to put this in in installments. So wait untill installment 2!

Hough I might not bother if there are no reviews…


	3. Part two of muse wars twohow confusing!

Meanwhile, the muse Jedi's had reached their secret hideout, which the arfs had built for the purpose of the Jedi's coming to destroy them.

The jedi's carefully planned their attack on Mount Plume. Bob was meditating on the plans, and Obi was watching him and giggling. Bob's meditation was broken as an argument broke out between Mrs Leathery and Sydney about the rules of chess. Everyone thought different, and they argued into the night.

The jedi's awoke to find Bob meditating again. Obi was doing lightsabre practice outside the hide out. Bob was shocked. What was wrong with Obi? He was going to get them discovered! The climate of Mount Plume was obviously affecting him. In fact, he was sure he was right, for now Obi was threatening Baldrick with his lightsabre, and exclaiming that he was evil.

But what was happening? Baldrick was in the bunk, fast asleep with his thumb in his mouth. Surely this was film that had not come out yet!

And, come to think about it, wasn't Obi actually doing his teeth? Wait a minute, what was that? Another Bob? Impossible! Wait- it was only a mirrior.

The muses conferred for the remainder of the morning. They agreed to don their disguises and to find Arf Vader. The arfs were clever enough to trick the jedi's with realistic holograms!

'Woof' said Bob the other dog. This, obviously, meant that Bob was not fooled. Obi was amazed by his hologram, and practised with his lightsabre against it.

The jedi's advanced to the entrance of the centre of the hideout in Mount Plume. But one they arrived....they were greeted by..................................a terrible danger................the dreadful................horrible...........horrible........................................................................hurdle maze.

Obi was too charge, as he had done this at school. 'You've got to get into a rythm!' he said. 'Hoppity, jump, stamp.'

'Hoppity. Jump stamp! Hoppity. Jump stamp!

'the muses chanted as they navigated their way through the hurdle maze.......until...................

'Ah' said Obi wan. 'There appears to be a slight problem with this plan.' The hurdles were not positioned so that some were higher than others.

'Under, over.' Exclaimed Bob. 'Watch!'

Bob crawled under the first hurdle and then jumped over the next. The other muses followed; Sydney simply slithering under all the hurdles and Marvin and Mrs. Leathery flew over them.

'Oh dear' said Obi wan. 'I'm going to look very stupid.' The hurdles were low because the arfs are so small, and Obi was forced to slide under the hurdles on his stomach.

'Ouch' said Bob. 'That has to hurt.'

Sydney stopped the story for a second.

'Hang on, where's Baldrick and cunning?' Everyone looked around, but they could not be found.

Obi exclaimed that he knew they were evil. Bob asked why he hadn't said anything, and the two great muses were once again getting ready to battle, when a voice came out of a pink fluffy loudspeaker that had just appeared. The dreaded voice of Arf Vader said

'Oopsy, sorry Mem, loo rolls!'

The loudspeaker disappeared.

As the muses reached the end of the hurdle maze, Obi Wan, rather subdued, (not seduced, Mem)

Bob was wondering what type of evil athletics would befall them next.

Woo...another bit done. Not that anyone reads this any more ï I hope there aren't too manyeee spelling mistaks (those were just for you, mem)

Attack of the clones??? Maybe you get it?


End file.
